


Picture This

by realfakedoors



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Connie is 17, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, F/M, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Feel-good, Graduation, Growing Up, Implied Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe, Inspired by Fanart, Mother-Daughter Relationship, Older Connie Maheswaran, Personal Growth, Photo Shoots, Photography
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-30
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2020-02-10 12:50:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18660790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/realfakedoors/pseuds/realfakedoors
Summary: While getting her senior photos taken, Connie and Priyanka talk about the future. After all, in six-months, Connie will be gone, well into her first year of college.Everything changes, but at the same time, nothing changes - unless you want it to.





	Picture This

“Oh my god, Mom, really?”

 _That_ , Connie thought errantly, was the most _pre-teen_ thing that she’d ever said in her entire life, and was almost comically ironic on a morning such as this.

Reflexively, she smacked a hand to her forehead and began to drag it down her nose, the model image of exasperation, only to freeze halfway through the action and groan. Withdrawing her palm, Connie eyed the slight smear of brown, just a shade or two off from her complexion, with a healthy dose of contempt.

Right _. Makeup_.

Don’t misunderstand – Connie actually rather liked to wear makeup on occasion, enjoyed the fluttery feeling of extra confidence when she and Steven were going out on a dinner date or something special. That said, she usually didn’t bother to wear any when she came to Beach City (it only took getting splashed _once_ to know the suffering of mixing the ocean and mascara), but today was an exception.

After all, wasn’t here for the Crystal Gems or her boyfriend.

She had used a little extra concealer that morning to help cover the dark circles that lined her eyes and to mask that, well, stubborn pimple above her right eyebrow, the one that just _happened_ to show up last night. Because, of _course_ it did – it felt like her acne only ever acted up when she had to get her photo taken.

Dr. Priyanka Maheswaran scowled at her daughter, one hand on her hip, her other held out to stop Nico, the photographer her mother was paying _good money_ to perform this totally unnecessary service for them.

“ _Yes_ , really. You’re only going to graduate high school once, so please, just bear with me a little longer? You know _attai_ and _pāṭṭi_ are going to want doubles of every picture anyway.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Connie waved a hand, voice barely more than a grumble.

She agreed to her Mom’s instance that she take a picture on every square-inch of beach, highlighting all that natural landscape in her senior photoshoot. This particular sticking point required she climb a small gathering of stones that rose from the shallow waters and pose for the picture, both candid and perfect at the same time.

Loosening her shoulders, Connie allowed herself a quick breath in, held it for three seconds, and then out again. She settled herself over the smoothest part of the stones and did her best to adjust her posture, not wanting to slouch.

It took a lot of effort not roll her eyes once Nico told her to _smile with her eyes._ Connie wasn’t entirely sure what that even meant.

She decided to just smile with her mouth, like a _normal_ human being – _and, like, I don’t know, every **other** species in the known universe, **Nico**_ – resulting in a rigid flash of white teeth. But, exercising some strategies that Garnet had shown her, Connie managed to relax her facial muscles and soften her expression for the lens: she tried not to focus on anything _and_ everything that they were doing. She calmed the swirling torrents of her mind, anxiety relieving itself as she focused instead on the sensation of just, _being_.

It was easier than she anticipated, and Connie made a mental note to thank Garnet later that day: the slight tickle of sea spray over her bare ankles; the gritty sand that was somewhere between dry and muddy as it stuck in the spaces between her toes, the familiar flavor of salt and grass that drifted down from the cliff that housed the lighthouse; a few crying gulls and the steady music of a lazy ballad of a choppy shore, moving to its languid tempo. If she just didn’t think about – _well, that thing she’s-not-supposed-to-be-thinking-about_ – then it was easy to almost lose herself in the peace of Beach City at pre-dawn. No gems, no children running all around the boardwalk, no people milling about the sands.

Connie was only half-listening to the photographer was he asked her to adjust, focus falling out with the tides.

The week leading up to this, she had two papers due, helped out on two gem missions, attended her usual two training sessions with Pearl, a fusion training with Garnet, was cramming for all of her AP exams, and had to work on scholarship applications for the various programs to which she’d applied. It had been hectic and mind-numbing at the same time, and to take time away from it all to do something like _this_ – something inane and superfluous at the earliest crack of morning when she was _already_ running almost entirely on caffeine and the pipedream of seeing _Dogcopter: The Final Act_ sometime this century without having everything spoiled by her classmates – it just frustrated her.

“ _Smile_ , honey.” her mother chimed in, and Connie automatically quirked her lips up at the corners.

 _Six more months_ , she told herself. Six more months and she’d be _free_.

Stanford was very far away, after all. No one would wake her up at five AM to go take the _perfect_ photos at the _perfect_ lighting along the _perfect_ slice of beach, _perfectly._ Of course, Steven insisted Lion would bring her back whenever she wanted, but there was something with a striking sense of _permanence_ that went along with a cross-country move.

That being said, Connie was no fool. The prospect of entering Stanford’s advanced medical program was daunting in its own right, but she also felt ready for this challenge. (It was, frankly, much harder to quiver in fear at the prospect of college after she’d tried to drive her sword into murderous alien dictators when she was just barely a teenager.) Nervous or not, this was _her_ decision. Her path. Steven wouldn’t be there to catch her at the last minute if she fell; Pearl wouldn’t be there to wrap her hands with bandages if she cut herself on a scalpel.

This was something Connie was doing on her own. This was something Connie _had_ to do on her own.

Maybe that was why this whole trip to the beach felt especially wasteful. Ever since her acceptance letter, the little gears in her head jumped around, no longer fixating on her designation as _high school senior valedictorian sword fighter Crystal Gem girlfriend best friend._ That felt like _past_ Connie, even if she had another month and a half before school would formally end. Now, she felt like _future_ Connie. The Connie that wasn’t thirteen anymore.

And while she knew, could feel it in the cage of her ribs the cornerstone of love she would always have from Steven, her parents, the gems, her friends… it would be different, if only because _she_ would be different.

Six months.

In six months, she wouldn’t have any of it, not in the same way.

A voice, gentle as the ocean’s breeze, shook her from the white-waters of her stream of consciousness.

“Connie? Honey?”

“Uh – oh.” Blinking owlishly, Connie realized her eyes had grown misty. “Oh, um, sorry, Mom.”

She coughed, clearing her throat and grabbed the tissue in her back pocket to dab at the corner of her eyes.

“Sand or a bit of water or something – we can keep going.”

Her mother ran a hand through her hair, evidently frustrated.

“Nico, take a five minute break.”

“Oh, well, sure but, I still charge by the –”

“ _Nico_.” Priyanka insisted, and the man straightened sharply and nodded. “ _Take a break.”_

“Right. Okay. I’ll be… over here.” The man awkwardly turned around and began to fiddle with his camera settings, slinking towards the cliff that jutted from the beach like a Titan’s long-fallen axe.

Connie, embarrassed, crossed her arms over her chest and looked away. It was a bit childish, she knew, but she also didn’t really know what else to do, was still generally unpracticed in expressing vulnerability in front of her mother.

The other shoe would have to drop eventually, and they stood there in silence for at least two minutes before a surprising sound caused Connie’s head to snap up.

Her mother had taken off her shoes, socks, and cuffed the bottom of her pants until they were almost to knee-height. The light jacket she’d brought, seeing as it was April in the northeast, lay folded neatly in the sand, and her legs were breaking the water before Connie could do much gape.

“Um, Mom?”

“I’m coming over,” the woman informed, as if that wasn’t obvious. She looked hilariously out of place, arms out straight from her body despite the low waves, like even the smallest of crests might knock her over.

Connie watched, eyes tracking the woman’s movements until she had made it all the way to the rock Connie was standing on, leaning into it and gazing up at her daughter.

There was a hardness to her stare that was painfully familiar.

“Connie, what’s going on? I know you didn’t want to come today…”

“Ah – no. No, Mom, it’s not that.” Connie schooled her expression into something mild. “I think I’m just tired. Stress or something.”

A brow arched high into the doctor’s hairline, paired with a doubtful grimace.

“I thought we agreed – no more lying.”

Connie’s mouth was open, ready to dismiss whatever her mother was about to say, but that had struck her so unexpectedly that her jaw simply snapped shut. She sounded… sad. Sadder than Connie had heard her in a very long time.

“Mom, I’m not…” the girl began, but ended up chewing her lip when she couldn’t hold the woman’s gaze. “Okay. I was just, letting my mind wander, and I guess I got upset just, thinking about you know, school and stuff. Leaving here is going to be so… hard.”

At that, the woman said nothing, brow furrowing and lips growing thin. Connie squirmed slightly when the silence became uncomfortable.

“A-And, you know, I just realized this is the first time since I ever got accepted that I’ve _really_ thought about leaving? I mean, I guess that’s sort of appropriate since this is all for my graduation photos and graduation is _so_ important, like, a cornerstone of adulthood! And I’m ready! But…”

Softly, her mother urged, “But?”

Jaw clenched, Connie glared at her hands, balled into her lap so tightly her knuckles were pale.

“But I feel not… ready? I should have explained it clearer, I’m sorry. I don’t know how I feel ready and not ready for something at the same time, that was dumb, I –”

“Connie.” her mother spoke her name, somewhere between command and question, and held out her hand to have her join her in the waters.

Stomach churning with uncomfortable shame, she accepted her mother’s hand and dropped down beside her in the water. The woman took a few steps back, leading her by the hand. She didn’t let go.

“It’s okay not to feel ready for everything, sweetheart,” the doctor said, a small smile pulling at the corner of her lips as she looked out over the open seas, the gray morning light filtering through cool tones in the glass waves. “It’s okay not to be ready for _most_ things. I didn’t know you felt so… conflicted. But that’s not a bad thing, in fact, it’s natural.”

Fingers squeezed Connie’s own before letting go, and she watched her mother slide both her hands into her pants pockets.

“The future isn’t something you can _really_ prepare for, but at the same time, that doesn’t mean you’re not ready. You’ll realize after you have your first encounter with a patient of your own, probably when you’re a resident…” the woman hummed, nostalgic, “but, working in medicine isn’t about being ready. In fact, it’s probably one of the least predictable careers you could have picked, aside from maybe being a teacher. But your work isn’t about the test scores, it’s about how you react. React, react, react. What’s that thing you and Pearl do – _parry, parry, lunge_?”

“Thrust,” Connie corrected with a chuckle, but her nerves had not improved. Instead, she twisted her hands together anxiously, keeping her focus on her fingers.

“I know that, Mom. I’m pretty confident that I’ll be… a good doctor. I mean, not many doctors have a magic healing boyfriend, so my whole learning curve is sort of bizarre anyways.”

They both laughed at that, and Connie let her hands fall to her sides.

“But it’s more like… I’m ready to _go_. To move on. But I don’t want to… lose what I have at the same time? Like, I _know_ I can come home whenever, I know that. But it’s like… ugh, how do I explain? I’m _happy_. I don’t think I’ll be unhappy in California… but it’ll just be so _different._ What if I get so buried in school work I can’t visit? What happens when I’m stressed and start to freak out and I can’t come to you or Dad or Steven or Jeff or PeeDee or – or anyone?”

Involuntarily, Connie felt her throat grow dry, the words coming harder and scratchier the long she spoke.

“Why does it feel like I’m going to lose who I am to become who I want to be? I’m… I’m scared, Mom. I don’t want to change.”

“Hey, hey, honey.” Priyanka moved closer, pulling her daughter close in a swift hug, so sudden and encompassing that Connie felt like the wind was knocked from her. “You’re the strongest person I’ve ever known, sweetheart. And I’m not just saying that because you’re my daughter, but it certainly doesn’t _hurt._ ”

Connie let out a wet chuckle, squeezing her mother in return.

“You’re the one in control of your life Connie, and that’s one of the things I’m most excited to see as you keep growing. _You_ don’t have to change unless you want to – and maybe someday that will be what you want, and that’s okay. Things around you can change, and people will change, but how _you_ change? No one gets to decide that for you. Not me, not your father, not Steven or the Crystal Gems. _You_.”

Leaning back, the doctor shifted her grip to rest on both of Connie’s shoulders, holding her gaze with intent.

“Changing is hard, and even when there are changes you don’t expect, you’re still the one who gets to shape how that impacts you. After you went to – to the gem’s _Homeworld_ , you came back, changed. What happened to Steven there, it… it affected you. But I saw you grow from it, let it become part of who you wanted to be, and this is no different. Well, it’s a little different – less violence and less space travel, but you know what I mean.”

Unable to resist, a laugh bubbled up the young girl’s throat, the sound effervescent as it filled the muted silence of Beach City at dawn.

“T-Thanks, Mom. I – thanks.”

“Anytime, sweetie. I love you.”

“I love y –”

The women jumped in unison when a melodious voice sung from the shore.

“ _Ah_ , yes! That is the smile of your twinkling brown eyes that I was seeking! Hold onto it –” Nico’s voice was jarring, and somehow _hilarious_ , after the serious moment the mother and daughter had just shared.

Connie slouched and shook her head, Priyanka laughing beside her. She fixed the girl’s blouse so the open-faced heart sat unwrinkled between her shoulder blades.

“Take a picture like that, sweetie – you look so beautiful. Look this was, maybe? Oh, that! Oh my god. That’s the one.”

Looming over Nico’s shoulder, the woman startled Connie with a fresh wave of her own tears, but these were accompanied with a heart-warming smile.

“I’m so proud of you. Oh, god. Look at how grown up. I’m a mess.”

“You are a mess, Mom,” Connie confirmed with a giggle, and Nico looked about ready to laugh too, but out of fear for his own physical well-being, decided against it.

The plan hadn’t been to take a photo in the water like this, to cry or hug her Mom before most places even opened for breakfast, but there were a lot of things in life that didn’t always go according to plan.

And maybe she wasn’t ready for that, but maybe it was okay to not be ready for everything.

 

(For instance, she had no idea that Steven was standing at the window of the Beach House, watching his beautiful girlfriend with love in his heart, Together Breakfast on the table, and two tickets to the midnight premiere of _Dogcopter: The Final Act_ in his pocket. But when she finds out? Connie is going to be _much_ more than okay with that.)

 

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by this [beautiful drawing](https://elestras.tumblr.com/post/173462330697/connie-drawn-with-promarkers-and-watercolour) done by a wonderful friend, thanks for sharing your talent with the world mads!


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